Watching this new anime, (Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi) just makes my heart melt. Episode 9, and I've been clutching my pillow, gnawing my lip, wiping tears from my eyes, and reducing my fingernails to paper-thin shreds. I wish I could love as they love. The only thing blocking me is me, I know that but, it's so hard to remove the basic thought: I am nothing. I do not deserve that storybook romance, I deserve only what I earn, and as of yet I haven't earned anything. I am not beautiful. I am not lovely. I am not the kind of girl that poems are written of. I do not know what I am.
Sigh, and yet again I've managed to turn a post into a depressing mess. Look at me, I'm worthless. Sometimes, I really do struggle. I don't know what I'm saying. I have it easy. I just need to cut the bullshit and find my medium. Maybe I'll take up painting? I don't know. Oh well, this is good-bye. I really want to read North of Beautiful by Justina Chen Headley again. Wondrous book. It seems like all I do is read. Why is that? Adieu, -Jolie Laide.